It has been almost three weeks since I came back from a work trip to Kansas, and it is time I write about it. Kansas itself was fine. I travel for work a decent amount so I am use to sleeping in random hotels and eating dinner in airports. It is part of the job and for the most part I enjoy the airline miles and credit card points. However, getting back from Kansas was travel purgatory.
Trapped in an airport for 9 hours, my coworker and I even lowered ourselves and tossed aside our dignity to get massages in those big leather chairs randomly placed in terminals that if they were a little bit larger could double as casting couches. Word to the wise, hopefully you like a little butt play because those chairs grab hold of your calves and every couple minutes shoot a little rod up just enough for you to jump up wishing this chair had at least taken you to dinner first. We will always have that moment together Wichita.
Now, why were we trapped there for 9 hours you ask? You probably didn’t ask but I will tell you anyways. Our flight coming in from Chicago was late due to fog and Wichita, Kansas is not exactly a travel hub. Flights out were limited and our gate agent wanted to send us to Baltimore because Baltimore is close to Cleveland. I kid you not, this guy actually thought Baltimore and Cleveland were close by. The apparent lack of geography knowledge by some people is mind boggling. I was ready to hang this guy by his 70s porn stache. United, not only do your flight options suck, but your employee screening process clearly is lacking.
When we finally flew out, we landed in Chicago but with no available flights that we could get on for at least 12 hours, we grabbed a rental car and drove back to Cleveland arriving home at 7 am. I even made it into work at 1 PM. I’ll accept my award now for Employee of the Year.
Oh yeah, I had some decent beer at River City Brewing Co., and a pretty good pizza but the overall mess of that flight back overshadowed the whole thing. Never fly through Chicago people or you will end up sitting in a airport massage chair questioning your life choices. Happy New Year!